Twilight: New Moon

// November 27th, 2009 // Reviews

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Justin’s rating: 1.5/5

Having finally seen this, I can now officially say how much I dislike this movie. I could spend paragraphs upon paragraphs tearing this movie apart, but I won’t. Well, not the movie anyway, but the story I certainly will. But first just to sum it all up, we will just say the writing, directing, and “acting” are all very sub-par. But that’s all I will say about the actually movie, for the sake of not getting myself thrown out of my house.

However, let’s talk about the story. First off, Bella Swan is one of, if not the, worst characters ever put on film. Could there ever be anybody more selfish, immature, pathetic, and just basically horrid? She doesn’t care about anybody but herself and she proves that throughout the story. She wants to be turned into a vampire, despite what it will do to her father, her mother, her friends, Jacob, and Edward. Not even he wants her to be a vampire. But she doesn’t care about them or their feelings, because she wants to be a vampire. End of story. It’s all about me. Me me me me me me. Also, her whole relationship with Jacob just makes her a freaking terrible person. I can’t stress that enough. Girls are supposed to look up to this girl? Are you kidding me?! Again?! Edward comes along and then it is so long Jacob. She doesn’t even care that he exists and then Edward leaves, and then what does she do? She runs to Jacob to fill that “void” in her heart. Then she proceeds to lead him on forever and then when he wants more she tells him to back off, but continues to hang out with him so  she doesn’t have to be alone. Then when Edward comes back it is so long Jacob again. Once again she doesn’t care that he exists. Does this remind anybody of those terrible girls you knew that just hung out with you because it was better than being alone, but the minute something better came along they were out the door. I can’t possibly express my incredible hatred for this character. 

Secondly, how much of a sixth grade mentality does she have? “Oh, if I can’t be with Edward then I don’t even want to live.” How pathetic. Get some sense of self, girl. Doesn’t this attitude remind you of those pathetic drama queens you knew in middle school that wanted to kill themselves because their boyfriend broke up with them? Get a life. Get some goals. Get un-pathetic. Edward leaves and then you just sit around and mope for months?! Are you kidding me?! Grow up.

After the movie, Jesse brought up a good point that she didn’t even intend to. She said that because of the movies she believes that more people are now Jacob fans then Edward fans because he is more likeable and more attractive. This is hilarious to me because before the first movie came out there was a poll in Entertainment Weekly that polled their readers to find out how many were Jacob fans and how many were Edward fans. I could go back and find it in one of my issues if I wanted, but I don’t. Anyway, there were thousands of votes and it was something like 85% Edward to 15% Jacob. So those percentages were based on their personalities and their actions in the book and had nothing to do with physical appearances. But now that they have seen the movies there are all of a sudden more Jacob fans, because he is more attractive. Hmm….tells you what’s more important to girls doesn’t it?

Lastly, none of this can be defended with stuff that happens in the book. These are movies, not books. I am somebody who has not read the books and has only seen the movies. Therefore, the movies have to hold their own and make sense within their own medium, and they don’t. For example, Lord of the Rings. They cut stuff out of those movies but they still gave you everything that you needed to know to understand the story. I haven’t read those books either, and I understand the story and the characters completely. However, in the Twilight movies, the characters don’t make any sense, whatsoever. And I have never seen a more blatant attempt to film a boy without her shirt on, just to get girls to watch the movies. There is no logical explanation as to why this kid is running around with his shirt off, except for one reason. And you know what that is. I don’t mind romance and love stories, but cheesy melodramatic love stories are pretty torturous. Even for a sap like me.

6 Responses to “Twilight: New Moon”

  1. bryan says:
    November 27, 2009 at 6:16 pm

    Well you just gave me more reasons to not watch a movie I already wasn’t going to watch. I really hate how so many girls drool over these two characters. It drives me nuts and makes me hate the movies more than I already do. And I now have a new term to use: Bella. If a girl leads you on and then drops you when she thinks something better has come along – you have been Bella’d.

  2. nic says:
    November 28, 2009 at 11:21 am

    I wasn’t planning to comment on this, because I honestly don’t care what other people think of this film, but I absolutely agree with one of your points. The movie should stand on its own, regardless of whether or not one has read the books. The producers obviously targeted existing fans with this installment, but an explanation of character nuances should be present in order to draw an objective observer into the characters. This film did not do that.

  3. Jesse says:
    November 29, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    That’s it, get out! I’m throwing you out of the house! ha ha
    Now that’s out of the way, it’s quite hard to respond to your post because you haven’t read the books…The books are from Bella’s point of view and so when you read them, you get a more complete understanding of where she’s coming from. I’m not saying this would change your opinion of her, in fact, it might strengthen your opinion of her, but I’m just saying that it would be difficult to translate all of that internal dialog into a movie, without a lot of “voice-over.” I think the movie magnifies her weaknesses 10-fold. But, Bella does go on living after Edward leaves, even if she doesn’t really want to. Edward is the one that rushes off to die the moment he hears that Bella is dead.

    I want to clarify what I was saying about the Jacob vs. Edward thing. Yes, it’s a lot about how movie Jacob is totally ripped and tan and good-looking. I mean, in the theater we were in, girls were “woo-ing” every time Jacob came on screen with his shirt off. But, I think it has more to do with contrast. Movie Edward is portrayed as looking sickly and gaunt, with blood-shot eyes. In the book, he is supposed to be very attractive and they were not successful in portraying that. But mostly, I think that it is the actors to blame. I’m sorry, but Robert Pattinson is not very likeable in the role of Edward. Taylor Lautner, on the other hand, comes off very likeable in the role of Jacob. He’s like “boy-next-door.” Fans think he’s hot and likeable and so they transfer that to Jacob. Pattinson is very off-putting and so they transfer that to Edward. I would like to take this opportunity to say that I’ve been a Jacob fan since I first read the books and it has nothing to do with how he is in the movie. (Oh and don’t worry, Bryan, I don’t “drool” over him…I’m not a psycho.) I will be writing my own post on why sometime in the future.

  4. nic says:
    November 29, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Yeah, I wouldn’t use a character’s flaws as reasons to put down a movie. I mean, Hamlet was flawed and kind of annoying. The movie is *about* her, it’s not a social statement that all girls *should* be like her. It’s descriptive, not normative.

    I really liked Pattinson’s portrayal in the first Twilight film. I thought he was very like-able. I think, as in the book, the audience is supposed to develop a sour taste for him in the second film, that we’re supposed to warm up to Jacob.

  5. Justin says:
    November 29, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    I wasn’t putting down the movie because of Bella’s flaws, I was putting down the character of Bella, and in my opinion her flaws make her a terrible person, which makes it impossible for me to like the story because it is *about* a “terrible” person that I couldn’t care less about.

    I am not bashing the movie, I am not thrilled with the story and the portrayal of the heroine. I think she’s a terrible role model, but I don’t think the film is a social commentary at all.

    Also, I think Hamlet is a stud. For me, nothing annoying about him at all.

  6. bryan says:
    November 30, 2009 at 8:21 am

    Jesse, I know that you’re not one of those girls that drool over these two characters. And I’m glad that you’re not. I’m just sayin’ that those girls that do, drive me crazy!!!!!!

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