Top 5 Worst Actors

1. Keanu Reeves- (Whoa, I can’t believe I’m number one. Whoa.)

2- Matthew McConaughey- (Man, that really hurts my horrible fake tans feelings…)

3- Channing Tatum- (Sup dawg, I’m insulted. I will crack yo punk ass tha next time I see you dawg.)

4- Paul Walker- (Whatever! I’m the best actor since Vin Diesel!)

5- Mark Wahlberg- (Doesn’t anybody care what happened to the bees?)

5b- Hayden Christensen- (I suck at acting)

Top 5 Favorite sports movies

1. Million Dollar Baby

2. Field of Dreams

3. Raging Bull

4. Rocky

5. Hoosiers

** I realize that ‘Million Dollar Baby’ and ‘Raging Bull’ are not necessarily sports movies. They are human interest films that happen to have sports in them. But since they include sports, I include them. Also notice that ‘The Wrestler’ is not on this list. It falls into the category of Raging Bull and Million Dollar Baby in being more about the characters and the sport is just a backdrop. But The Wrestler has so little of the “sport” in the movie that I can’t include it here. I know this sounds like a giant double standard thing, but hey, I don’t have to explain myself to you.**

1- Cillian Murphy (Somebody once told me I have the exact same side profile as Cillian. I stared at myself for awhile, and they are totally right.)

2- Ethan Embry (This sounds like a strange choice, but he is just quirky enough to pull it off. Also, it’s the ‘Empire Records’ age Ethan Embry, not the new fatter version.)

3- Topher Grace (I have been told countless times that I look and act just like Eric on ‘That 70′s Show.’ Seriously, countless times by completely unrelated strangers.)

4- Paul Bettany (He plays the 40 year old version of myself. He is an awesome actor that could capture the complexity of me.)

5- Paul Dano (This is the only one that doesn’t bare any remote resemblences of me, but I think he would do a killer job.)

1- Slumdog Millionaire

2- Wall E

3- 2001: A Space Odyssey

4- Knocked Up

5- Lawrence of Arabia

*If you have a list, which you should, leave it in the comments section.

Top 5 Reasons I would Survive A Horror Movie

1- If there were people dying all around me, and horror following me everywhere, I would not stop to have sex. What is with these people? There is no way I am in the mood for lovin’ when some dude has been slinging an axe or ice pick at my head. “Boy the events of today have just left me terribly horrified. But never have I been so turned on by your sweating body. Let’s make it all ok by boinking until he pops up behind you while you’re on top.”

2- I wouldn’t split up the group/going outside all by myself to investigate that strange noise. “I know there is a killer on the loose, and he has made it perfectly clear that he wants to kill us and only us. Which I am not sure why, there are a bunch of unsuspecting old folks out there right now that he could just have his way with. Oh well, I guess he enjoys a fight. Anyway, I must go outside to see what that noise is, it’s just driving me nuts. And I know that barking dog just stopped barking, but he could have just fallen asleep. Totally not related to the killer trying to kill me.”

3- I would freaking grab a weapon and hang on to it. At one point in ‘I Still Know What You Did Last Summer,’ Jennifer Love Hewitt has a freaking ax! Where does this ax go? Could you be more retarded! This guy has a little captain hook on his hand and you have an ax! Gee, I don’t which I would be more afraid of. “I have this ax, but it is just slowing me down in my attempts to outrun mr. killer. I will just ditch it over here.”

4- I would not always be on the defensive. This goes along with number three. I would grab my weapon, something like an ax would do, then I would find a place to hide, when the killer walks into view my ax becomes a permanent part of his head. Instead these horror movie idiots hide and then wait for him to “leave,” and then they hop out of there hiding place just to find out that he was still there. Take him off guard. Stupid.

5- I would go someplace familiar so I could always be aware of my surroundings, because he is always behind you. Always. So instead of running into those old dark woods that definitely don’t provide any safety, I would run to my house or a friends house or somewhere public. Gee, what an idea. “Man, I am so smart. I ran into these dark woods all by myself, but now he has so much ground to cover he will never find me. He certainly can’t come out of anywhere now. Ha, now there’s nowhere for him to find me.” Wrong. Only now there’s no one around to hear you scream.

Top 5 Guilty Pleasure Movies

1- 13 Going on 30- I love Mark Ruffalo. And this movie is funny and well acted all around. I like it.
2- Dirty Dancing- Nobody puts Baby in a corner.
3- I Know What You Did Last Summer- This movie is terrible…and awesome. I enjoy this movie too much.
4- Enchanted- Amy Adams has a lot to do with this one.
5- Clueless- Come on, it’s funny!

Top 5 Desert Island Movies

1- American Beauty–Sometimes I just want to watch a really mind blowing drama. This is definitely the one for that.

2- Die Hard–Every now and again I am in the mood for an awesome action movie that has everything; explosions, people getting shot, angry germans! This movie has it all.

3- Once– A beautiful love story with an amazing soundtrack, so it’s a movie and music at the same time. Killing two birds with one stone.

4- Beauty and the Beast–This movie has more replay value than most. I can watch this over and over and over.

5- Amelie– This movie is so cheerful and happy, I think I would need some of that. Plus, maybe I could even teach myself french!!

5-Quigley Down Under—(I hated this movie  because it was a western and like I have previously stated I hated westerns for absolutely no reason. Now I know the truth though, so it’s all good.)

4-This is Spinal Tap!—(I wasn’t really prepared for this type of comedy when I saw it, so I was expecting something completely different. Expectations ruin movies more often than anything else.)

3-Gladiator—(I think I simply was not in the mood to watch this when I first did. I am glad I gave it a second chance.)

2-The Usual Suspects—(I was way too young when I first saw this movie and I just didn’t understand the brilliance of it. These type of movies are not big hits with young immature audiences.)

1-Fight Club—(The same exact thing as with number 2. Also, I was expecting a movie about fighting. I was 16 and didn’t really understand deeper meanings and all that. So I was upset there wasn’t more fighting. It wasn’t until later that I realized that the movie is not about the fighting…..at all.)

Top 5 Dudes I Would Do A “Brokeback” scene with:

5-Jake Gyllenhaal (He has experience in this field and he could show me the ropes…that sounded like homo erotica…)

4-Adrian Brody

3-Brad Pitt

2-Johnny Depp

1-Mark Ruffalo (I think he would be very gentle.)

5-

    Amy Adams

4-

  Audrey Tautou

3-

  Marisa Tomei

2-

  Charlize Theron

1-

  Natalie Portman

*I am on to something here, 4 out of my 5 are oscar nominees (Audrey being the exception, but she’s a french film star so it’s not her fault) and 3 of those 4 are oscar winners (Charlize Theron, Marisa Tomei, and Penelope Cruz). I am satisfied with my list. It wasn’t hard though because there are only about ten women in hollywood that are even good looking. So, there you go. Leave comments with your 5!!!! Come on!!!