Justin at the Movies

Manic

// February 24th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Reviews

Manic is a film that stars the always great Joseph Gordon-Leavitt and Zooey Deschanel, and it is about troubled teenagers in a mental institution. Most of them (that we meet anyway) are there for anger and violence issues. The only thing that prevents this movie from being a complete and utter disaster is the performance of Leavitt. He does a great job of portraying an angry teen that isn’t really sure how to control his problems, but you get the sense he wants to. Other than that, I don’t know how anyone could like this film, and I will tell you why.

Having worked in a facility for a year, that was very similar to this one, I am here to tell you that this might be the most unrealistic movie ever made. I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes and scoffing at the ridiculousness of the actions on the screen. First off, people in these kind of facilities are monitored by many people day and night, 24/7. These violent and troubled teens were allowed to walk around at will, go into other people’s rooms with no supervision, get out of their own rooms at night and wander around, they were allowed to scream and fight and anything else you could possibly imagine. I don’t think my intelligence has ever been so insulted as it was when I watched this movie. There is one point where a kid has a pocket knife. He has been in the facility longer than our main character so he didn’t just arrive with it. Where did this knife come from? It just all of the sudden appears?! And there is no way on this freakin planet that he got that knife in there. Absolutely no how, no way. And where were all of the employees?! This whole movie these violent teens are walking around doing whatever they want, coming and going as they please, and nobody is ever watching them! They go outside by themselves, completely unsupervised?!?! I don’t think so. Then multiple fights break out, and they are allowed to fight for a good thirty seconds before anybody shows up! Are you kidding me?! These fights would last five seconds tops. When these kids started yelling and swearing and inciting their peers they would have immediately been removed from the situation and taken somwhere else to cool down. That’s how it works. They wouldn’t just let them sit there and yell at each other and incite each other until a fight broke out. Give me a break. Don’t waste your time with this movie. It sat on my dvr for almost two months, and I wished I would have just deleted it. Oh had I known then what I know now.

Twilight: New Moon

// November 27th, 2009 // 6 Comments » // Reviews

Justin’s rating: 1.5/5

Having finally seen this, I can now officially say how much I dislike this movie. I could spend paragraphs upon paragraphs tearing this movie apart, but I won’t. Well, not the movie anyway, but the story I certainly will. But first just to sum it all up, we will just say the writing, directing, and “acting” are all very sub-par. But that’s all I will say about the actually movie, for the sake of not getting myself thrown out of my house.

However, let’s talk about the story. First off, Bella Swan is one of, if not the, worst characters ever put on film. Could there ever be anybody more selfish, immature, pathetic, and just basically horrid? She doesn’t care about anybody but herself and she proves that throughout the story. She wants to be turned into a vampire, despite what it will do to her father, her mother, her friends, Jacob, and Edward. Not even he wants her to be a vampire. But she doesn’t care about them or their feelings, because she wants to be a vampire. End of story. It’s all about me. Me me me me me me. Also, her whole relationship with Jacob just makes her a freaking terrible person. I can’t stress that enough. Girls are supposed to look up to this girl? Are you kidding me?! Again?! Edward comes along and then it is so long Jacob. She doesn’t even care that he exists and then Edward leaves, and then what does she do? She runs to Jacob to fill that “void” in her heart. Then she proceeds to lead him on forever and then when he wants more she tells him to back off, but continues to hang out with him so  she doesn’t have to be alone. Then when Edward comes back it is so long Jacob again. Once again she doesn’t care that he exists. Does this remind anybody of those terrible girls you knew that just hung out with you because it was better than being alone, but the minute something better came along they were out the door. I can’t possibly express my incredible hatred for this character. 

Secondly, how much of a sixth grade mentality does she have? “Oh, if I can’t be with Edward then I don’t even want to live.” How pathetic. Get some sense of self, girl. Doesn’t this attitude remind you of those pathetic drama queens you knew in middle school that wanted to kill themselves because their boyfriend broke up with them? Get a life. Get some goals. Get un-pathetic. Edward leaves and then you just sit around and mope for months?! Are you kidding me?! Grow up.

After the movie, Jesse brought up a good point that she didn’t even intend to. She said that because of the movies she believes that more people are now Jacob fans then Edward fans because he is more likeable and more attractive. This is hilarious to me because before the first movie came out there was a poll in Entertainment Weekly that polled their readers to find out how many were Jacob fans and how many were Edward fans. I could go back and find it in one of my issues if I wanted, but I don’t. Anyway, there were thousands of votes and it was something like 85% Edward to 15% Jacob. So those percentages were based on their personalities and their actions in the book and had nothing to do with physical appearances. But now that they have seen the movies there are all of a sudden more Jacob fans, because he is more attractive. Hmm….tells you what’s more important to girls doesn’t it?

Lastly, none of this can be defended with stuff that happens in the book. These are movies, not books. I am somebody who has not read the books and has only seen the movies. Therefore, the movies have to hold their own and make sense within their own medium, and they don’t. For example, Lord of the Rings. They cut stuff out of those movies but they still gave you everything that you needed to know to understand the story. I haven’t read those books either, and I understand the story and the characters completely. However, in the Twilight movies, the characters don’t make any sense, whatsoever. And I have never seen a more blatant attempt to film a boy without her shirt on, just to get girls to watch the movies. There is no logical explanation as to why this kid is running around with his shirt off, except for one reason. And you know what that is. I don’t mind romance and love stories, but cheesy melodramatic love stories are pretty torturous. Even for a sap like me.

The Taking of Pelham 123

// November 9th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Reviews

by Justin

Starring: Denzel Washington, John Travolta, John Turturro, James Gandolfini

Director: Tony Scott

Rated: R (Language)

Justin’s Rating: 2.5/5

The Taking of Pelham 123 is a decent thriller that has nothing really of substance to offer other than pure entertainment. Ryder (John Travolta) hijacks a subway train so he can exchange the hostages lives for millions of dollars. Walter Garber (Denzel Washington) is the control center operator on the other end of the line that receives the call from Ryder. Ryder gives the city of New York one hour to give him ten million dollars or he will kill one passenger for every minute that they are late in delivering the money to him. That’s pretty much all there is to this movie. Obviously the city of New York tries to figure out a way to get the hostages back safely without having to comply with Ryder’s demands. This whole thing start to finish is just like every other hostage negotiation movie ever made. The performances are nothing to rave about and John Travolta’s character is completely flat with no clear motives. The movie does start right away which was good, and it is pretty well paced. I would only recommend this movie to those that want to be entertained at the very basic level and don’t want anything more. However….

Is there any way that we can get some originality back in hollywood? Absolutely nothing about this movie is original. And when I say absolutely nothing, I mean absolutely nothing. First off, it’s a remake. Gee that’s weird. There aren’t any other remakes out there being made are there? Secondly, the characters. Denzel Washington is always one of two guys. He is either the cop hero, or the common citizen hero. In this movie he plays the common citizen hero. I know you may be thinking, “whatever, in Training Day he was a bad cop.” If that is what you are thinking for the defense of his characters than you are beyond help. I realize he was great in ‘Glory,’ but he hasn’t done anything since that strays to far away from what I have said. Don’t get me wrong, I love Denzel Washington as an actor and a person (because I know him personally of course) I just wish that he would branch out a little bit. He is very talented and I would like to see him utilize it more.

Then we have John Travolta. This movie features John Travolta’s bad guy character. He also is only two characters, his good guy character and his bad guy character. I realize that in film you are either the protagonist or the antagonist, but every time he is a “bad guy” he is the same bad guy character and every time he is the “good guy” he is the same good guy character. His character in The Taking of Pelham 123 is the same character that you will see in ‘Swordfish’ and ‘The Punisher.’ It consists of him yelling constantly and shouting the “F” word as much as possible. That’s what he does. As I said before, if you are looking to just stare at the screen and and find enjoyment at the very basic level, then this is the movie for you. If, however, you want to watch a good film that is well written and consists of good overall performances, then you may want to look elsewhere.

Better Denzel Films:
Glory
Philadelphia
Training Day

Better Travolta Films:
Pulp Fiction
…
…

Belated Review #2

// September 7th, 2009 // No Comments » // Recommendations, Reviews

(500) Days of Summer

Justin’s Rating: 5/5

Wow. I should have written this a long time ago when it was still fresh in my mind. There is so much that can be said about this movie that can’t really be put into words. You should just see this movie. The actors are one thing that I can definitely praise about this movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is my favorite young actor, and proves again in this movie why he is one of, if not, the best young actor in Hollywood. The guy is so diverse in everything he does, and he does them all so well. In ‘Killshot’ he plays a white trash, hillbilly, murdering nut job, and in this film he plays the goofy, sweet, hopeless romantic looking for love. I love to watch everything he does. He will win multiple academy awards. Yes, MULTIPLE. Write it down. You heard it hear first.

Zooey Deschanel plays Summer and is absolutely fantastic as she usually is. She is cute and talented and all that jazz, however, I do have a complaint….actually two complaints. 1- Does she have to sing in every freaking movie that she is in? We get it, she has a beautiful voice. After awhile it has just begun to come off as self indulgence. 2- She is always the same character. She is always the weird, offbeat, cute girl. That’s all she does. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and she is a fantastic actress, I would just like to see her do something completely different and show me that she can.

To sum up the absolute nothingness that I have said, this movie is hands down the best film of the year so far. It will most likely change in the upcoming months but this film is just short of brilliance. This is a movie I could watch every weekend and never get tired of it. It’s hilarious, frustrating, authentic, heart wrenching, and beautiful all at the same time. Summer is one of the more complex female characters that I have seen in film, and I loved the fact that she felt so real. We didn’t get to see her motivations and the reasons why she does what she does. It felt just like real life and it made both of their characters more true to life. I absolutely loved this film and the chemistry between Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who I have dubbed Jo-Go, it’s just so much easier to say) and Zooey Deschanel is a director’s dream. I haven’t seen that kind of chemistry in a long time. Once again, this film is PG-13 so I would recommend it to everybody. Don’t miss this one, you won’t regret it, I promise.

Belated Review #1

// September 4th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Reviews

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Justin’s Rating: 1.5/5

What a horrible, insipid piece of garbage. That’s all I really have to say but I would like to say more. First of all, with Channing I-Think-I’m-Black-Oh-And-By-The-Way-I-Can’t-Act-Worth-Anything Tatum in the lead role, you have to know this movie is going to suck. But, you may still be surprised. I mean, did my unborn fetus write the script? Horrible writing, horrible acting, horrible casting, horrible directing, and horrible sound. Seriously. I don’t know if it was the theaters fault or the movies, but the sound was ridiculous. Everything was so loud it was almost like you couldn’t hear it. Very strange, I know, but if you have experienced this than you know what I am talking about.

We won’t go over the plot of the movie, because there isn’t much of one. Last time I knew, a story needed to be told with an overall objective and then many obstacles and turning points in the movie that make that objective hard to attain. This movie only has one objective and the only thing that ever changes is the location of the ridiculously pointless and drawn out action sequences. The story is never advanced, the characters are never developed, and nothing ever really happens. That may sound weird with all the explosion going on, you may feel inclined to challenge that. But think about it….what ever really happens? Their formula was simple, thirty seconds of dialogue and then a fifteen minute action scene. Then another thirty seconds of dialogue, and another thirty minute action scene. I won’t even get started on the plot holes. And yes, I am aware that it is just an action movie that is meant to entertain. But really? This is entertaining? It’s so dumb, and the special effects were even terrible. If you are making a pointless and mindless action movie, then you’re special effects at least need to be awesome. C’mon people! It was ridiculous.

And a big shame on you Joseph Gordon Levitt. I figured that he was just in this movie for nostalgia reasons. That’s what I had to tell myself, because he is one of my favorite actors and one of the finest young actors in Hollywood. Why else would he do this movie? This is the second bad movie he has done with Channing Tatum (yes, I am looking at you ‘Stop-Loss.’) Ugh. Overall, this movie is awful and will definitely end up on the worst movies of the year list. It is more poorly written than this review, and that is saying something.

Oh yeah, by the way, did you know that you can fly from the north pole to Moscow and then all the way to Washington D.C. in eighteen minutes? I bet you didn’t, but I know that because I saw G.I. Joe.

This Week on DVD

// August 18th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Reviews

The Last House on The Left

Another remake of another bad horror movie. I will say that this is the best horror movie I have seen this year. Now, don’t get too excited, because it’s still bad. This film proves once again that American’s have no idea how to make a horror movie. We replace suspense and terror with violence and gore. When was somebody getting their hand eaten by a garbage disposal ever scary? This is just another case of seeing how disgusting and violent they can be. At least the acting by half of the cast was decent. The other half was pretty ridiculous. Skip this one if you are also tired of watching people act like total morons and behave in a way that makes no sense to anybody.

Surveillance

This movie was pretty much what I expected when I saw the Lynch name on it. Produced by acclaimed director David Lynch and written and directed by Jennifer Lynch, this movie is definitely original, intriguing, and disturbing. This movie is about two FBI agents who go to a small town to do interviews about a homicidal duo that is going cross country and killing people. The cops in the town just had a violent run in with the killers and the FBI is there to help save the day. The Lynch family friend Bill Pullman filled in as one of the FBI agent’s at the very last minute because the original actor had to drop out…and it shows. I am a big Bill Pullman fan but his performance seemed off and unprepared. Other than that the acting was pretty solid.
For me, this film is exactly like a roller coaster. For the first half of the film you feel like you are being taken up to some high point, and you are just waiting for the drop. Then when you get to the drop, you find yourself a bit disappointed and it wasn’t necessarily worth all the hype. I was a huge fan of the build up, but the end was predictable and left me quite unsatisfied. This film is definitely in the Lynch style, but it differs in the fact that he has a definitive and cohesive story with a clear cut ending. This was Jennifer Lynch’s first film in fifteen years, and I would say she was quite successful.

Tyson

This documentary about the life of Mike Tyson is very interesting and very entertaining. It was very interesting to hear his side of the story, and upon hearing it, a lot of his actions made a little bit more sense. The director makes some very poor choices that are very distracting and take away from the story being told, but overall the film is very successful. Upon watching this one thing became very apparent to me, Mike Tyson is just a scared little boy trapped in a man’s body.

District 9

// August 16th, 2009 // 2 Comments » // Recommendations, Reviews

Director: Neill Blomkamp

Justin’s Rating: 3.5/5

‘District 9′ is a complex plot that I have found myself struggling to summarize. But essentially what happens is that an alien spaceship stopped over Johannesburg, South Africa in 1982. Under all the pressure to figure out what was going on, we humans boarded said ship and “rescued” the aliens. We put them in a refugee camp which made all the humans nervous and wanting all the aliens to go back to where they came from. Which incidentally, is exactly what the aliens want as well.

I am not a fan of the Sci-Fi genre as a whole, it’s just not my thing. However, every once in awhile there is a movie that comes along and transcends the stigma of it’s genre. ‘District 9′ is that movie. The movie starts out in documentary style and follows Wikus Van De Merwe as he is selected to serve all the aliens eviction notices and to tell them that they are being moved to a different refugee camp because of the protests from the residents of Johannesburg. I felt that the movie starts out rather slowly and almost made me lose interest in it altogether. However, at about thirty minutes in the film really takes off and lands violently. After that initial thirty minutes, ‘District 9′ is an all out thrill ride. It is packed with action and is as intense as any movie you are likely to find this year. While the action is great, and the story is great, the movie is really anchored by an all out balls-to-the-wall performance by Sharlto Copley. His performance as Wikus Van De Merwe cannot be praised enough. He delivered his performance with absolutely everything he had, and he did an incredible job. I look forward to seeing more of him in the future.

People have been telling me that they have been seeing ‘G.I. Joe’ for the action. Well, if you want to see a movie with just as much action (if not more) combined with good acting and a well developed story, then ‘District 9′ is the movie you have been waiting for. Although the movie isn’t perfect, it is relentless, and succeeds exactly where it means to.

This Week on DVD

// August 10th, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Reviews

I Love You, Man

‘I Love You, Man’ simply takes the new fad of bro-mances and makes it funny. When people talk about their bro-mances in real life, it scares me, and makes me think they are a little pathetic….and lonely. However, this movie makes it funny and rather appealing. The movie is paced quite well and the laughs run consistently throughout. Once again though, Paul Rudd is not the funny one (in my opinion.) His character is actually quite obnoxious to me and seems a little bit forced. He also gets the credit for ‘Role Models,’ when I also thought that he was the least funny out of everybody. Don’t get me wrong, I like Paul Rudd and I DO think he is funny, but the star of I Love You, Man is definitely Jason Segel. This guy proves once again that he is one of the funniest young actors in Hollywood. Every line this guy delivers is comedy gold. He makes everything funnier by his impeccable comedic timing and line delivery. If you want to watch an absolutely hilarious movie, then pick this one up. However, if you are wanting to watch the funniest movie of the year, then you need to wait for ‘The Hangover’ to come out on DVD. I Love You, Man is very funny, but doesn’t touch the hilarity of ‘The Hangover.’

17 Again

Zac Efron……enough said.

Entre Les Murs (The Class)

The Class is the Academy Award nominated french film that tells a story about a teacher and his students in an inner city school. I know what you are thinking, “Gee, that’s never been done before.” Well, true, there have been movies made like this before, but none of them even come close to the emotion or impace of the class. This isn’t like any of “those” movies that you have seen before. The director managed to capture the realism so effectively, it actually feels like a documentary. This movie perfectly captures the struggle of being a teacher and a student. With it’s PG-13 rating I highly recommend this movie to everybody. Trust me, you haven’t seen this movie before.

Gigantic

Not even the three terrific actors in this movie (Zooey Deschanel, Paul Dano, John Goodman) can save this movie from itself. Nothing to be seen here. I promise.

Disappointment #2

// August 3rd, 2009 // 1 Comment » // Reviews

Funny People

Director: Judd Apatow

Starring: Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Jason Schwartzman, Eric Bana

Rated: R

Justin’s Rating: 2.5/5

By the trailer, they would have you believe that these funny people are funny, but they are not and aren’t necessarily supposed to be. If you are going into it expecting an all out comedy, prepare to be surprised, and maybe not in a good way. However, my expectations for this movie did not ruin it for me, there were plenty of other things that did that, and none of them had anything to do with me.

The first major problem I had with the movie is it’s running time. Who wants to sit through a two and a half hour “comedy?” Certainly not me, there are certain types of movies that should never be over two hours. We won’t get into that now though, that is a post for another time. The running time would also be a bit more tolerable if the movie wasn’t just a two plus hour dick joke. That’s all the movie is. Seriously, go watch it if you don’t believe me. Every joke in the whole movie has to do with balls. That is absolutely not an exaggeration. And you know who thinks penis jokes are funny? People with an IQ of about 8. That was problem number two with the movie.

Problem #3 begins and ends with Jonah Hill. This guy is the most unfunny person on the planet. He is probably the most undeserving famous person in the world. Sure Paris Hilton is rich, and that’s the only reason she is famous, but she is good at being stupid and spending money. So, she is good at what she is famous for. But Jonah Hill? He is famous for being funny and yet my soap dispenser at work is funnier than he is. He proved once again in this movie, that every single thing out of his mouth has to do with dick or balls. Everything. You could be talking about cheese and fabric softener and he would find a way to tie that back to his balls. The guy is an idiot. Plain and simple. And an unfunny one at that.

However, this movie is a lot better than Apatow’s previous efforts for the simple fact that it’s not just a shallow sex comedy. It deals with more serious issues and is quite heavy throughout the entire film. The more serious parts were far more enjoyable than the stupid “funny” parts. I also wish there would have been more stand up in the movie.  I wish it would have been a movie about stand up with his life interjected throughout. And I wish the stand up was funny. It’s not hard to get up there and talk about an erection for twenty minutes.

So, consider me officially off the Apatow train. I have always had faith in him because of ‘Freaks and Geeks,’ which is one of the greatest tv shows of all time. He also did another show called ‘Undeclared.’ Both shows only lasted one season, but that’s because people like crappy tv. I have trusted him for this long because of those shows, but it just dawned on me yesterday that these are the exceptions, not the rule. The highlight of the movie was Eric Bana’s australian accent. It completely surprised me how good it was. So the whole thing wasn’t a total loss. All in all, the movie had great potential, but was completely lost in the dick jokes and running time.

Hamlet

// July 25th, 2009 // No Comments » // Recommendations, Reviews

Director: Michael Almereyda
Starring: Ethan Hawke, Bill Murray, Liev Schreiber, Julia Stiles
Rated: R
Justin’s Rating: 4/5

Hamlet is one of the greatest pieces of literature ever written, so it’s quite difficult to translate that into the movie format. However, this one is done quite well and is the a great take on a great story.
Ethan Hawke plays Hamlet and does as good a job as you can expect. Granted he does seem to lack the rage that I always invisioned Hamlet had inside of him, but he does a great job showing his internal struggle with his physical acting. It’s pretty clear that Ethan Hawke understood almost every word that he spoke. He used all of the right emotion and voice inflection. Ethan Hawke is a great actor and proves it well here.
I also love the fact that they modernized the film but still used the original Shakespearean language. Every word in the movie is straight from the original text. Liev Schreiber as Laertes is the other acting highlight of the film. I have been screaming at how good of an actor this guy is for years, and although this movie was still when he was relatively unknown, he seems to be getting more work today. I am starting to get used to being ahead of the rest of the world.
The only thing that hurts this movie is the performances of Julia Stiles as Ophelia and Bill Murray as Polonius. Julia Stiles delivers all of her lines exactly the same. They never have any emotion in them, and she always furrows her brow and looks like she has no idea what she is talking about. And she always stops in the middle of her line for a dramatic pause, and then finishes. Then there is Bill Murray. I think Bill Murray is a terrific actor and anybody that doubts his ability just needs to watch any Wes Anderson Film and/or Lost in Translation. The guy can flat out act, but he should not be in this movie. His line delivery is all over the place in this movie and is often times, the emotion in his voice is not consistent with what he is saying. It is obvious that he had no idea what he was saying. They were just words to him so that’s what they are to the audience. Just words and nothing more.
I first watched this film about eight years ago and I was to young to properly follow the dialogue. I was very glad I re-watched this film and was able to enjoy it for the entertaining and original take on a classic Shakespeare play. I recommend this movie to anybody that wants to watch a Shakespeare play put into action in the modern day world.